Not About The Kill

This year was my kids’ first year to join Grandpa and me for Opening Day of whitetail deer hunting. They’d both chased rabbits and hunted squirrels, but not the grueling type of hunt that is sitting in a 6×6 wooden box on for hours on a Michigan Autumn day. After sitting all day without so much as a chipmunk to entertain us, the sun began to set. For the 129th time, my son slapped my arm wolf-crying, “Dad, there’s a deer.” Having tired of that game way before lunch, I took my time even turning my head to see that a small buck was indeed standing about 75 yards away, perfectly broadside to us!

By picking up the shotgun, I must have confirmed that his young brain was really seeing what he thought because he started giggling uncontrollably. Trying to be still and keep a whisper loud enough for him to hear over his giggles, I implored him to cut it out, look out another window, get on the floor of the blind, anything to raise our chances of making the hunt worthwhile. All I could see as he pulled his stocking hat off his head and covered his face was the corner of his laughing smile. Generally, a calm and peaceful person, I had images of myself as Homer Simpson with a Bart in a choke hold, his tongue flailing wildly! Before losing the chance, I chose to ignore the hysterics beside me and take aim. I shot low. The deer jumped high. Mr. Laughs-a-lot and I bumbled out of the blind to see if there was any sign that I’d been successful. There wasn’t. The last hour of daylight was a quiet one. My son felt guilty for my bad shot. I wrestled between uncharacteristic competitiveness that I’d botched the opportunity and realizing a good dad would not encourage his son’s guilt.

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Here is the essay I found: http://thisibelieve.org/essay/5795/