Recently my daughter started borrowing our things. She fits in my wife’s “trendy” shoes, so she puts them on without asking. My water bottles disappear into her bag continually because “they’re more grown up”. Ironically, she is also at a stage in which her primary communication queues are eye rolls and irritated sighs. It is typical adolescence and typically frustrating to us as parents, to think for one second that we created an offspring to be a taker, and an ungrateful one at that.
She went on a church youth sledding trip recently. As she unpacked her bag, I saw her put my knit John Deere hat out to dry. Surprised that it was neither “trendy” nor “grown up”, I was primarily irritated that she had once again taken something of mine because it was easier than digging up her own. She got angry with me for asking where her hat was. I reflected personally and regretfully wondering about my sad contribution to a society of laziness, entitlement, and blaming others any time we’re questioned. How could I make her see?
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It’s not always about making others see, but to try ourselves to see others in a different light.
This is a great article Walt, as always. You have only begun to see and feel the affect of your children not needing or wanting you as much as they did at one time. Their growth into adulthood happens much quicker than you want, but you can not stop it and should only encourage them and be their cheerleader. On the the other end, you will feel a sense of truly being on your own when you no longer have a phone call from your parents and their address belongs to somone else. Savor every day, time marches on.
Love to all my kids and their ever changing lives