Steeper Mountains

Posted on February 12, 2014 by sutterlearn

It was 5:30 and I was still at the school, having waited for parents to get their kids who missed a bus. I was making calls to others who needed updates on how their babies had done that day and how our team could further support them.  I looked over at my own son, whose haircut appointment we missed because I was tending to other people’s kids. Going on a 10-hour day with me, he just smiled and told me, “It’s okay, we can do it tomorrow because I’m just glad you have a job Dad”.  As much as I believe guilt is something we impose upon ourselves, sometimes I think it’s due.

But in this selfless comment, he reflected a value that all my running late because I stayed to help someone else must have taught him.  While I was feeling guilty about what we hadn’t done for ourselves, he was confirming a compassion I almost overlooked but it dawned on me when we finally got in the car and one of my mentor songwriters, Steve Seskin, belted through the speakers, “Everybody’s got a mountain to climb…and most of those mountains are steeper than mine.”  He recognized that our missed haircut doesn’t compare to some other child’s school challenges, some other parent’s financial woes, another person’s struggles.

We can impose guilt on ourselves for what we don’t have, or we can extend grace to ourselves when we realize how much we do.  Looking at a steeper mountain extends grace to all and consequently ours will never seem so steep.

Posted in Coaching, Leadership, Parenting | 3 Comments

Not My Job

Posted on February 8, 2014 by sutterlearn

Jim Howitt was a mentor of mine in life.  When I was in my early 20’s working at a marketing company, he was in his late 60’s having returned from retirement to work in our office.  For the first year or so, I didn’t know much about Jim, but each time I worked with him he was genuinely interested in talking me as a person before the task I was asking him to help with. It wasn’t his job, he implicitly taught me that skill that I attribute to my own success in the classroom and workplace: care for the person and their service to you and others will benefit.

In one of our conversations, I learned that Jim had started modestly as an immigrant to Canada from England.  He worked his way through the auto industry in Detroit and became a high-ranking executive at Chrysler during the Iacocca era when Chrysler was booming.  This post-retirement job was simply a way for him to keep active and social.  I asked how Jim felt he had become so successful.  Jim revealed to me without hesitation, “I never said that’s not my job.” At the dawn of my professional life, these words imprinted upon my heart.

I think of Jim all the time, like a wise grandfather I enjoyed for a glimpse of time.  This week as I shoveled the walks before staff and students arrived in a snow storm, I had no fewer than three adults and children ask, “Why are you shoveling, that’s not your job?”  I had to smile and wonder if Jim is still alive, then I responded to each of them, “What does that mean, not my job? It needs to be done. This is how you succeed.” 

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Caring Hurts…do it anyway.

Posted on February 8, 2014 by sutterlearn

People tend to freak out or get really uncomfortable when you talk about loving others in the general.  It’s either misinterpreted as inappropriate if you talk about love outside of a family setting, or idealistic hippy-talk when you refer to the universal love that humanity shares and that most organized religions are based upon.  It’s the kind of heat I took in the classroom when I wouldn’t have a Valentine’s party for 4th graders on the basis that we should be caring for each other, or showing love, to other humans – classmates, community, or family – every day, in every interaction. 

When I spend large parts of my day wondering how my daughter is doing in junior high, socially and academically, I am caring about her.  When I get home and her current form of communication is predominantly eye rolls and illogical arguing, I wonder how I can have great relationships with so many classroom kids, but my one child can hurt me.  Caring hurts.

When a building staff spends an impossibly-active day problem-solving, responding to, and serving 1% of the students, simply because those specific children require and deserve that support for whatever the reason, we are caring for them.  When we call to have parents partner with us and get yelled at that, “what happens at school is your problem so you must not be doing your job”, I push, insist, and empathize frustrations until they realize that we must be partners for the sake of their sweet child.  I care so much it hurts.

When I work as a coach to help teachers explore their potential for improving, growing, and learning, I genuinely care about them and believe in their potential.  When 2% of those teachers have such anxiety or pride that they are resistant to learn and blame some esoteric agenda, it becomes hard for me to celebrate the 98% who embrace learning together.  Caring hurts.

Realizing that someone else is honestly caring for you or yours is hard to do, because we are wired to care for our own first.  We’re also wired to let the few who are resistant to our care, eat at us, when most people are receptive and reciprocal.  Once we agree that simply being a caring person isn’t weird, it’s showing love, those care are still left with the consequences that caring for others can hurts, but the hurt is worth the act.  People who are hard to love, especially deserve love. Care on.

Posted in Coaching, Leadership, Parenting, Teachers | 2 Comments

EdCamp Lansing 2014

Posted on January 28, 2014 by sutterlearn

I spent last Saturday at a great professional learning event, called Edcamp Lansing at MSU College of Education.  Last spring I blogged about my virgin experience at Edcamp Detroit, so of course I was thrilled that a local version had arrived.  For anyone yet to attend, this is an “unconference” where attendees are the interactive presenters. Learning is what you make of it and is socially mediated, so when you arrive there is a blank board of rooms and times.  Participants sign up for what discussions or concepts they will lead.

I go to these “unconferences” with a friend and we intentionally hit different sessions, but take notes in a shared Google doc so that we can see in real time what the other is learning about, hence doubling our exposure to lots of smart people and interesting topics.  For instance, this time I attended the following four sessions:

  • Project-Based Learning – Two high school juniors from Dewitt presented how their classroom is called a “research and development lab” and they had used a 3-D printer to build a replica of itself…no teacher can keep up with that type of student-as-expert learning curve.  Highlights from their presentation, “Trust your students to learn.  We fail every day.”
  • Formative Assessment – Specialists from TechSmith, an ed-tech app-building company, queried a group of educators on our understanding and needs for formative assessment tools.  Educators learned from each other by sharing our collective experiences.  Developers learned from us by understanding our needs first-hand.  I hope to see how they innovate using that feedback.
  • Flipping 4th Grade – A local teacher and her intern shared how they’ve flipped their classroom using multiple video applications and sites, mostly free.  The discussion ranged from how to do it with few resources, to attention span stamina of children, to how others in the group have interpreted flipping.
  • Flipping PD – An intimate group of administrators and coaches shared ideas for how to authentically enrich fellow educators through professional learning mediums other than face-to-face.  Lots of ideas flowed and the dialogue took us to the heart of our goals for the adult learning around us.

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When I got home, tired but stoked about my day, my sister-in-law asked me what was so energizing about Edcamp.  I asked her to imagine, if for just a few hours, she could be surrounded by people who are passionate enough to be innovative, brave enough to take risks, and genuine enough to share of themselves honestly. Then I asked, “What if they shared your interests and you made time to talk with them?” That’s Edcamp.

Posted in Leadership, Professional Learning Conceptions, Teachers | Leave a comment

Are you being sarcastic?

Posted on January 18, 2014 by sutterlearn

Psychologists and counselors will generally tell you it’s not okay to use sarcasm, that it’s passive-aggressive, demeaning, and establishes negative relationships…especially with children. In most cases, if you have a mean intent you are not helping others out by being sarcastic with them, and with young children or people further from you on the autistic spectrum, literalism rules the mind, so sarcasm is confusing. Being intentionally confusing is mean.
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I recall learning this difference because exiting 4th grade students “get” sarcasm, so the year I switched to teach 3rd grade, I quickly realized that incoming 3rd graders do not get sarcasm. Because my jokes did not have a mean intent, we created a cue system that if I made a sarcastic comment I would slap the side of my desk immediately after so they would know it was funny and to give me a courtesy laugh. Pretty soon, they started developing a sense of when and how I would use sarcasm, in a group setting, where no one is personally targeted. For example, when a transition between activities takes longer than it should, I might announce, “I see we’re all having a slow-motion day, what are the chances? (slap, slap)” At first I would follow by telling them, “This means move faster.” Soon, I could just make the first comment, slap the desk and the kids would get the message that we need to move faster. The also learned that adults, teachers, can be funny and still develop accountability. Learning can be fun.

Sarcasm must be taught, but the context in which you teach it is important. While some kids are raised in sarcastic environments others are quite the opposite, thus sarcasm comes off as mean. Society is full of sarcasm and kids need to learn to decipher as they sharpen their higher-order thinking skills. Think of most sit-coms, comedic movies, and even commercials. Like it or not, we’ve addicted our children to screen media where sarcasm is a mainstay. And, sarcasm is funny.

So if you’re worried about breaking a kid’s spirit or breaking some social mores, don’t. Be nice. Care about people. Use sarcasm purposefully and teach it. How do you feel about sarcasm and how have you used it appropriately with kids?

Posted in Coaching, Teachers | 2 Comments

Memory Serves

Posted on January 18, 2014 by sutterlearn

One of the privileges of teaching has been the relationships with specific parents that have lasted beyond having their children in our classroom. This week I ran into four separate parents who were generally happy to see me and share stories of their current lives, not just reflecting upon who we were when their children were my students. One of those stories transcended time, but brought me to happy, awesome tears.
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The little boy I had in fourth grade had a memory issue. It wasn’t the expected forgetfulness or distractedness they all have, but a true cognitive memory deficit involving therapy exercises and brain specialists to help him increase retention. This was hard on his parents, especially his father, a buttoned-up and successful businessman who struggled through hours of homework keeping his son on track, sometimes escalating to heated arguments. We had long conversations about having patience with the boy.

This father and his two kids were in a horrific auto accident recently, but thankfully survived despite concussions, bumps, and bruises. When I went to check on the family, the mom explained to me how my friend had lost some short-term memory due to his head injury. Grateful they were otherwise okay, I wasn’t really thinking about our experiences with memory back when I had them in the school, but his daughter’s poignant question is what made me tear, “Do you think Dad will be more understanding about my brother now that he knows what it’s like not to remember things?” I’m sure his memory will now serve them all.

Posted in Parenting, Students, Teachers | Leave a comment

Dads of Steel

Posted on January 18, 2014 by sutterlearn


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Watching last year’s movie, Man of Steel, was a different experience than the 1970’s Superman version I grew up on. In my memories, Christopher Reeves spent most of the time saving people and defending Earth from a bad guy, but I found myself answering my son’s questions throughout the new movie, to keep him on track with the sci-fi storyline. It helped him enjoy what would otherwise have been a confusing collection of flashbacks between real and fantasy worlds. It forced me to slow down and think about the father-son storyline that I don’t recall from my childhood version. Superman seeks and finds his beyond-the-grave, alien father to learn where he’s from and how his powers can work for good, to find hope in the world. Meanwhile, he reflects on the compassionate wisdom his adopted Earth father provides, as he develops himself into a superhero.

Flashback in our own week to last Tuesday driving to school on a relentlessly cold morning, my son asks me, “Dad, why does smoke come out of those cars in the winter only?” I gave a diatribe explanation of exhaust systems, mufflers, carbon monoxide, and temperature, things we can see and things we can’t, purely beyond what he wanted to know. A few silent miles down the road, he says, “You know Dad, everything I’ve learned that’s important has come from you.” WOW! In his one comment, life stopped and the true responsibility of another human was placed in my lap, beyond feeding breakfast, doing homework, and getting to school on time. I channeled my own Dad of Steel to respond to him, that while I might share a lot, it is his thoughtful questions that make his learning.

A time came in the movie when my son asked, “If Superman’s dads are both dead, how does he keep meeting them and learning what to do?” I reminded him of our conversation in the car. Then, I told him, “When you’re a Superman, your dad is in your heart even if he’s not with you. All the things you learned that were important, become part of you through your memory. That’s what makes a Superman.”

Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments

Book Review – Professional Capital

Posted on December 19, 2013 by sutterlearn

Few books make me salivate to read them, prior to publication. I’m usually the latecomer to some chart-topper that has already moved the world’s thinking, but the pre-publication campaign for Andy Hargreaves and Michael Fullan’s Professional Capital: Transforming Teaching in Every School had me hooked for months prior to its release. When Amazon finally put a copy in my hot little hands, it did not disappoint…but it did take me nearly a year to read!

Professional Capital is about internal collective responsibility as a means to raising the teaching profession. Hargreaves and Fullan create a context juxtaposed to a metaphor of economic capital as something accumulated, but define professional capital as the function and coordination of three existing capital sources in an organization: human capital, social capital, and decisional capital. While both authors are internationally renowned educators, using many examples and non-examples about teaching, their theory could apply to many organizationals.

The idea of “teaching like a pro” transcends role and leadership, by emphasizing how the attributes of a professional educator are what make the difference from academic outcomes, to evaluation systems, to the daily grind. At the same time, they explain the aspects of visionary leadership as a primary catalyst for creating a professional capital-rich environment. The authors analyze what has made this theory successful in different examples and why other contexts have struggled where this theory wasn’t applied, shamefully many in the US.

Still, the book doesn’t read like a typical theoretical text. It’s engaging and delightful, weaving from anecdotal stories to the research supporting or refuting them. That’s exactly why it took me close to a year to finish it. This is the only book I have reread immediately, sometimes not moving to the next chapter before rereading the prior once or twice, not because it’s difficult to comprehend, but because there are so many gems to consider and savor. This is the only book I own in which you cannot flip more than two pages without finding a nugget of brilliance highlighted with notes in the margin.

And so Professional Capital must receive 5 golden SutterStars and a soon-to-be-coveted “Book-of-the-Year” award from Sutterlearn.com, you pick which year. I’m sure Hargeaves and Fullan will be so proud. I’m immensely grateful to them for this contribution that has improved my own thinking and vernacular as an educational leader.

Posted in Book Reviews, Leadership, School Reform, Teachers | Leave a comment

The Hats We Wear

Posted on December 18, 2013 by sutterlearn

The God I believe in has a sense of humor. I imagine God laughing every time I think I have a plan for myself and God hands me the real plan, usually with a new hat. When I look for clarity, I can almost hear, “Oh, is that what you thought was happening? (giggle, giggle) Here, try this on.”

It took a while for me to understand that reacting to a new hat was futile, but wearing it was essential for anything I would do later. When I planned to be a paramedic in North Carolina until I retired….here, try this on…move to Michigan and use that team leadership in a marketing company. When I thought I had become a manager…here, try this on…all that quality improvement and process stuff from the business world, public school could use it, go be a teacher. When I had the perfect teaching partner and we were figuring out new, fun ways of doing school…here, try this on…share your passion with other teachers, be a coach. It’s gotten to the point, or maybe I’ve just grown to accept it, things happen for a reason and it’s probably not going to be according to my plan.

Each hat we put on, in our personal or professional journey, is placed upon our heads for something we will do later. The skills we think we’re building in one arena are transferrable beyond our expectations or understanding at the time. What is amazing about how it all works out is that we usually don’t realize the value of the hats we wear, until we put on a new one.

Posted in Coaching, Leadership | 1 Comment

Not About The Kill

Posted on December 16, 2013 by sutterlearn

This year was my kids’ first year to join Grandpa and me for Opening Day of whitetail deer hunting. They’d both chased rabbits and hunted squirrels, but not the grueling type of hunt that is sitting in a 6×6 wooden box on for hours on a Michigan Autumn day. After sitting all day without so much as a chipmunk to entertain us, the sun began to set. For the 129th time, my son slapped my arm wolf-crying, “Dad, there’s a deer.” Having tired of that game way before lunch, I took my time even turning my head to see that a small buck was indeed standing about 75 yards away, perfectly broadside to us!

By picking up the shotgun, I must have confirmed that his young brain was really seeing what he thought because he started giggling uncontrollably. Trying to be still and keep a whisper loud enough for him to hear over his giggles, I implored him to cut it out, look out another window, get on the floor of the blind, anything to raise our chances of making the hunt worthwhile. All I could see as he pulled his stocking hat off his head and covered his face was the corner of his laughing smile. Generally, a calm and peaceful person, I had images of myself as Homer Simpson with a Bart in a choke hold, his tongue flailing wildly! Before losing the chance, I chose to ignore the hysterics beside me and take aim. I shot low. The deer jumped high. Mr. Laughs-a-lot and I bumbled out of the blind to see if there was any sign that I’d been successful. There wasn’t. The last hour of daylight was a quiet one. My son felt guilty for my bad shot. I wrestled between uncharacteristic competitiveness that I’d botched the opportunity and realizing a good dad would not encourage his son’s guilt.

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Here is the essay I found: http://thisibelieve.org/essay/5795/

Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment