Caring Hurts…do it anyway.

People tend to freak out or get really uncomfortable when you talk about loving others in the general.  It’s either misinterpreted as inappropriate if you talk about love outside of a family setting, or idealistic hippy-talk when you refer to the universal love that humanity shares and that most organized religions are based upon.  It’s the kind of heat I took in the classroom when I wouldn’t have a Valentine’s party for 4^th graders on the basis that we should be caring for each other, or showing love, to other humans – classmates, community, or family – every day, in every interaction. 

When I spend large parts of my day wondering how my daughter is doing in junior high, socially and academically, I am caring about her.  When I get home and her current form of communication is predominantly eye rolls and illogical arguing, I wonder how I can have great relationships with so many classroom kids, but my one child can hurt me.  Caring hurts.

When a building staff spends an impossibly-active day problem-solving, responding to, and serving 1% of the students, simply because those specific children require and deserve that support for whatever the reason, we are caring for them.  When we call to have parents partner with us and get yelled at that, “what happens at school is your problem so you must not be doing your job”, I push, insist, and empathize frustrations until they realize that we must be partners for the sake of their sweet child.  I care so much it hurts.

When I work as a coach to help teachers explore their potential for improving, growing, and learning, I genuinely care about them and believe in their potential.  When 2% of those teachers have such anxiety or pride that they are resistant to learn and blame some esoteric agenda, it becomes hard for me to celebrate the 98% who embrace learning together.  Caring hurts.

Realizing that someone else is honestly caring for you or yours is hard to do, because we are wired to care for our own first.  We’re also wired to let the few who are resistant to our care, eat at us, when most people are receptive and reciprocal.  Once we agree that simply being a caring person isn’t weird, it’s showing love, those care are still left with the consequences that caring for others can hurts, but the hurt is worth the act.  People who are hard to love, especially deserve love. Care on.