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Watching last year’s movie, Man of Steel, was a different experience than the 1970’s Superman version I grew up on. In my memories, Christopher Reeves spent most of the time saving people and defending Earth from a bad guy, but I found myself answering my son’s questions throughout the new movie, to keep him on track with the sci-fi storyline. It helped him enjoy what would otherwise have been a confusing collection of flashbacks between real and fantasy worlds. It forced me to slow down and think about the father-son storyline that I don’t recall from my childhood version. Superman seeks and finds his beyond-the-grave, alien father to learn where he’s from and how his powers can work for good, to find hope in the world. Meanwhile, he reflects on the compassionate wisdom his adopted Earth father provides, as he develops himself into a superhero.
Flashback in our own week to last Tuesday driving to school on a relentlessly cold morning, my son asks me, “Dad, why does smoke come out of those cars in the winter only?” I gave a diatribe explanation of exhaust systems, mufflers, carbon monoxide, and temperature, things we can see and things we can’t, purely beyond what he wanted to know. A few silent miles down the road, he says, “You know Dad, everything I’ve learned that’s important has come from you.” WOW! In his one comment, life stopped and the true responsibility of another human was placed in my lap, beyond feeding breakfast, doing homework, and getting to school on time. I channeled my own Dad of Steel to respond to him, that while I might share a lot, it is his thoughtful questions that make his learning.
A time came in the movie when my son asked, “If Superman’s dads are both dead, how does he keep meeting them and learning what to do?” I reminded him of our conversation in the car. Then, I told him, “When you’re a Superman, your dad is in your heart even if he’s not with you. All the things you learned that were important, become part of you through your memory. That’s what makes a Superman.”
Thank you for this. I look forward to conversations like this with my own son. It also reminds me if the tremendous responsibility we have as fathers.
Boy did this hit home. My dad died when he was 92 a few years back. I still remember to this day my “Dad of Steal” and the important things he taught me that I use and do each day without thinking where they came from. We are our father’s sons. I just hope my sons have learned a little from me. I take pride that they are all great human beings and some are now raising sons of their own with love and joy.