For the past two years, I have kept Bruce Miller’s book, Your Life in Rhythm, as my “second”. I tend to keep a transitional book that I read between or along with others to avoid fatigue of one subject. This includes bouncing between editorials, blogs, and periodicals that I consume at a regular pace. I have reread chapters of this book deeply, and flown through a few parts. So it is that my reading habits represent what Your Life in Rhythm has spent the past two years convincing me: balance is a false goal.
Miller couches his argument in real-life contexts that are relatable. At first glance, I thought, “This is all about us.” My wife recommended the book to me. Then I realized, while his situations relate to many of us, Miller carefully bifurcates into two theories of time, kairos and chronos; time experienced versus time measured, respectively.
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Balance represents equality on both sides; enough of this to level out enough of that. Think about it, can you be the best spouse and the best employee at once; the best parent and the best community member simultaneously; the best teacher and the best learner at the same time? Even if “the best” is not your goal, Miller’s point is well represented in recent research of attention span, mind division, and multi-tasking. The quality and potential of anything we do is undeniably diminished when we strive for exact balance of our pursuits. Balance is a false goal.
Rhythm on the other hand is do-able, natural, and logical. There are times when work is heavy and family rides shotgun to support us. At other times, service to others trumps personal academics, and later these roles change. Approaching life with an expectation and acceptance of its rhythms changed my perspective. I realized, I am wired as a kairos person, one who experiences the moment deeply which means punctuality and measuring time are a challenge to me, albeit professionally and personally these are important to honor. Awareness is the beginning of improvement.
Your Life in Rhythm provides a new awareness and view on the false goal that now seems so cliché of finding balance. Recognizing the rhythms of ourselves and those around is so useful. I give this book four SutterStars and recommend you pick up a copy and blend reading it into your own rhythm.