Closet Epiphanies

Before I joined the workforce as an adult, I came upon the dream that I needed to become a chaplain for people in crisis.  Not one of a specific religious affiliation, but someone who could listen and move people through their traumatic events.  I don’t imagine I was a typical 18-year-old because I convinced myself that I was far too young and inexperienced in life itself to provide counsel to others, much less those in crisis.  I decided I needed to walk in their shoes and experience the darker sides of life myself, so I became a paramedic and worked with the SWAT team.

Life moved on, dreams are replaced, and I found myself passionate about teaching kids and modeling a world I wish we lived in.  My first year teaching I learned that not all 4^th graders are “at grade level”.  I bemoaned this reality for a while, frustrated that a one-size-fits-all model didn’t help a few in my care.  Then one day as I was standing in the closet picking out what to wear, a voice in my head said, “Teach Them”.  I went straight to school and printed a banner with those words that has hung in my classroom ever since.  It is not for kids, but for me as a reminder that my service is to stop lamenting the challenges and unfairnesses, then figure out what they need and get them there.  Teach them.

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Walking into my closet that evening, the same little voice repeated a sign I had seen in a dear teacher’s room: “What people need is a good listening to.”  I was reminded of my original dream to be a counselor to those in crisis, realizing that my optimism isn’t something to regret or bridle, but when couched with compassion and empathy, is exactly the type of “listening to” that isolated educators don’t get enough.